In Paris, where teenagers walk past cafés in Montmartre with earbuds in and backpacks slung low, sexuality isn’t something parents can afford to ignore. It’s not whispered about behind closed doors like it was 30 years ago. Today, it’s on TikTok, in school health classes at Lycée Henri-IV, and in the conversations kids have on the metro between Saint-Michel and Gare du Nord. French parents are facing a new reality: their 14-year-old knows more about consent and gender identity than they did at 21. The question isn’t whether to talk about it-it’s how to do it well, without sounding outdated or disconnected.
Sex Education in French Schools: What’s Actually Taught
Since 2018, France has made sex education mandatory in all public schools from primary through high school. The curriculum, updated by the Ministry of National Education, covers more than just biology. In Paris, students at Collège Victor-Hugo learn about emotional boundaries, digital safety, and the legal age of consent (15 in France). They watch videos from the national health agency Santé Publique France, which includes real testimonials from teens in Lyon and Marseille. Teachers use the official guide Éducation à la vie affective et sexuelle, which avoids moralizing and instead focuses on autonomy, respect, and critical thinking.
Many parents assume this means the school is handling everything. But here’s the truth: 68% of French teens say they learned more about sex from YouTube or Instagram than from class. In Paris, where internet access is near-universal, kids are exposed to content that’s often misleading or extreme. A 15-year-old in the 15th arrondissement might watch a viral video claiming that “everyone is having sex by 14,” when the actual national average for first intercourse is 17.2 for girls and 17.5 for boys, according to Inserm’s 2024 survey.
What French Teens Are Really Thinking
Ask any parent in Belleville or Le Marais what their teen talks about, and the answer isn’t always what you expect. It’s not just about intercourse. It’s about consent after a first kiss at a party in Parc des Buttes-Chaumont. It’s about how to say no to a partner who says, “But everyone’s doing it.” It’s about navigating sexting without getting trapped in a digital scandal.
Parisian teens are more open about gender and sexual identity than any previous generation. A 2023 study by the Paris City Hall Youth Office found that 12% of students aged 15-18 identify as LGBTQ+. That’s up from 6% in 2015. Schools like Lycée Jules-Ferry in the 13th arrondissement now have student-led diversity clubs and gender-neutral restrooms. Parents who dismiss this as “trendy” risk alienating their kids. The real issue isn’t whether their child is gay, straight, or questioning-it’s whether they feel safe talking about it at home.
How to Start the Conversation (Without Making It Awkward)
Don’t wait for “The Talk.” That old-school moment-dad with a book, mom blushing-doesn’t work anymore. Instead, weave it into everyday life. When you see a commercial for a condom brand like Durex in the metro, say something. “Did you know they give out free condoms at the Centre de Planification et d’Éducation Sexuelle near Place de la République? No ID needed.”
Use pop culture as a bridge. If your teen is watching Emily in Paris, talk about how the show handles relationships. Is it realistic? What would you do differently? If they’re listening to Stromae or Angèle, point out lyrics that touch on intimacy or power dynamics. These aren’t distractions-they’re openings.
And don’t be afraid to admit you don’t know everything. Say: “I didn’t understand that term you used yesterday. Can you explain it to me?” This builds trust. Teens don’t need perfect parents. They need honest ones.
Where to Find Reliable Help in Paris
Paris has one of the most accessible networks of youth health services in Europe. Every arrondissement has at least one Centre de Planification et d’Éducation Sexuelle (CPE). These centers offer free, confidential consultations for teens under 18. No parental consent required. They provide contraception, STI testing, counseling, and even help with gender-affirming care. Locations like the one at 12 Rue de la Roquette (12th arrondissement) are staffed by doctors who speak English, Arabic, and Darija-important for immigrant families.
There’s also the national helpline, Écoute Adolescents (0 800 235 236), which operates 24/7. Teens can call anonymously. Parents can call too, asking for advice on how to approach a sensitive topic. The service is run by trained psychologists and has handled over 120,000 calls since 2022.
For digital safety, the Internet Sans Crainte program, backed by the French government, offers free workshops in libraries across Paris-including the Bibliothèque Nationale and local branches in the 18th and 19th arrondissements. These teach teens how to spot manipulation, block predators, and protect their data.
What Not to Do
Don’t monitor their phone. Don’t read their messages. Don’t install spyware. It doesn’t make you a good parent-it makes you a target for rebellion. A 2024 study from the University of Paris-Saclay found that teens whose parents secretly monitored their devices were 3x more likely to lie about their sexual activity.
Don’t shame them. If your daughter says she’s curious about her body, don’t say, “Wait until you’re married.” That’s not French. It’s not even modern. Instead, say: “Curiosity is normal. Let’s talk about what’s safe and what’s not.”
Don’t assume your experience is theirs. The Paris of 1995 isn’t the Paris of 2025. Social media, dating apps like Bumble and Hinge (used by teens under 18 despite age restrictions), and AI-generated pornography are realities your child navigates daily. If you haven’t tried to understand them, you’re flying blind.
Building Trust, Not Control
The goal isn’t to prevent your teen from becoming sexually active. It’s to ensure they do so safely, respectfully, and with full awareness. In France, the legal age of consent is 15, but that doesn’t mean 15-year-olds are ready. Emotional maturity matters more than the law.
Teach them to recognize pressure. “If someone makes you feel guilty for saying no, that’s not love-it’s manipulation.” Teach them to ask for consent-not just before sex, but before a hug, a kiss, a photo. Teach them that “no” doesn’t need an explanation.
And most importantly, keep talking. Even if they roll their eyes. Even if they say, “Stop, Mom.” The fact that you’re still there, still asking, still listening-that’s what sticks with them long after the awkward moments fade.
Resources for Parisian Parents
- Écoute Adolescents: 0 800 235 236 (free, anonymous, 24/7)
- Centre de Planification et d’Éducation Sexuelle: Find your nearest center at sante.gouv.fr
- Internet Sans Crainte: Free digital safety workshops in Paris libraries
- La Maison des Adolescents: Located in 10 locations across Paris, offering psychological support for teens and parents
- Les Petits Frères des Pauvres: Offers free, confidential counseling for LGBTQ+ youth in Paris
Sexuality isn’t a taboo in Paris anymore. It’s a part of growing up-and it’s one of the most important conversations you’ll ever have with your child. Start now. Keep going. They’ll thank you later.